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Surviving 

Covert Abuse by Narcissists

A guide to this little known, yet common form of insidious abuse

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How friends, family and colleagues can best support victims

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Signs, clues and red flags that we all need to be aware of

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Information for victims

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Links to further support, information and resources

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Pink and Black Butterfly

 

IMPORTANT!

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If someone tells you they are a victim of covert abuse, but you cannot see any signs ...

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1. Believe them

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2. Support them

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3. Learn about it

 

Do not...

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... dismiss their experience

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... accuse them of lying

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... accuse them of being a overly dramatic

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... tell them, 'it takes two to work at a relationship'

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... tell them to stop being so sensitive

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... treat this as 'just another break-up'

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... tell them to 'get over it and move on'

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... assume the partner 'isn't really that bad' (they are)

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... believe that the abuser couldn't hide these traits

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... trust the abusive partner

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... blame the victim - they have been preyed upon

 

Please read on to find out why this is so important

 

Your friend, colleague or loved one is currently the most vulnerable they may ever be in their entire lives. They have experienced a deep and painful trauma that you may not yet understand. It is imperative that you do not damage them further by insensitive or harmful comments. 

VICTIM?

 

Are you a victim?

If you have experienced covert narcissistic abuse and need urgent help, please immediately call your local emergency helpline, the police, or anyone else that you need to in order to get to a safe place.

STAY SAFE: If you need to leave this site urgently, you can do so by clicking on the butterfly, which will be on every page. When clicked, it will take you to a neutral page.

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THIS WILL NOT DELETE YOUR BROWSING HISTORY: To do so, please read the advice here, which includes several other important safety factors: https://domesticviolenceservice.org.au/online-safety/

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YOU WILL BE MUCH SAFER if you access these pages from a different computer such as a public library computer, or that of a trusted friend. 


If you are currently safe and wish to learn more about this form of insidious abuse, you can navigate to any of the following pages.

Image by Joshua J. Cotten

And why is it so dangerous, so damaging and so hard to spot?

 taught at school

Image by AARN GIRI

And not cause further trauma?

Image by Al Soot

But not just for victims!

Image by Jay Castor

Links and resources

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